Some updates… AH
So it’s been feeling so crazy and hectic since I started this whole like…. website blog thingy, and honestly blugh ya know? Not in a “I’m done” way but in a “oofies” way. Got hired and did my onboarding paperwork today, then I met with someone about housing, and then I made a lot of progress on my finals and then passed out for what felt like ever but was only 2 hours. Oh and I’ve been playing some Crisis Core in the down time, and have gotten super far into the completion, until to realized that i HAVE to speak to the fan club girls in chapter 2 or else I loose out on the fan club AND the mail achievement. UGH. But thankfully if I do everything right, once I get to NG+ that might be the only thing I need to do, so it shouldn’t take too long. Also are you telling me that the entire planet of FF7 is just being haunted by all the ghosts of forever past? Does that mean ghosts are bound by our laws of time and physics? How do these ghost soul thingies even work? Why do I feel like despite this being a prequel to FF7, I am missing A LOT of world context. Anyways, classes are nearing an end. I got some really kind and sweat words from my professors so far that touched me. I think with sociology, once I’m done doing some more reading on Weber, I’m gonna check more into micro theories and icon/symbolism. Media classes seem to be going well, or well enough that is. I should have known these intro classes weren’t going to really get down and teach me a bunch of technical work, but because I know so much of what we are covering I keep wanting to do something at my level and not the assignments requirements, and it’s making a lot of time consuming decisions, but I enjoy it. I hope now that I finally have a job again and the potential of finally having my own place and a safe spot to live and exist, I can get back into content creation and streaming. Then that’ll be easier ot either dial back my 12, or help motivate me more since I can do multiple loves at once that way. Art stuff is coming by, I found this super cute video just now on some DIY clothes and alt fashion tips for beginners, and I’m Hella excited to try these out, but also, fuck do I have too many projects and wants. But yeah, I’m super stressed but not because of the things most would be as a student, but I’m hoping soon it’ll get better. three more days I realize as I type this and idk why I’m anxious on it, but I am? Maybe deep down I’m hoping you somehow reach out…. maybe part of me actually caring and trying and NOT hating my birthday this time is part of me trying to hold onto you still, but…. idk maybe I can until I can learn to like that day for myself? If just a bit longer…. I know it’s not healthy for me overall, I know with everything that’s happened, and especially with what my advocates and mentors have told, I need to just move on and forget…. but it’s so hard to forget the warmth of ones heart who’s nuzzled so deep into my chest I could confuse it with my own…. Basking in the frozen tundra, grasping for any embrace, any, even the embrace of the cold fingers around my throat, so to feel a warmth the gleans that tundra: self hating cyclical wants. Melt….. How can one just forget. Ahhhh this is the stockholme I think they mean maybe? Nah you can’t just diagnose that like a new tiktok craze. I need to finish my finals so I can focus on the next steps…… I miss you, I love you.
<3 Goblynx Joestar
AHHH I FORGOT TO MENTION/INCLUDE THE DIY VID
